It’s amazing the lengths some religious types will go to convert people to their flock, even calling up the employees of Circuit City who are shepherding the store through its final days.
Below is one such exchange (it’s a big long, but worth the read):
See, for some reason some folks seem to love bragging about God, being one of the folks who have to call people you’d be amazed how many voice mail boxes you get with people going “God is good all the time, and all the time God is good”, or “God loves you!”, or and I shit you not, the voice mailbox plays some Christian style music, used to drive me nuts! So, on one of my last day at the store I decide to work the front register and this one lady calls up the store and I happily pickup the phone
Me: “Thank you for calling Circuit City, how can I help you today?”
Her: “Yeah, I wanted to know what the discounts were at now on laptops?”
M: “They’re 10%”
H: “But the sign says 30% outside?”
M: “Up to 30%, laptops are still 10%”
H: “Oh, is it true you guys are going out of business?”
M: “Yes man”
H: “Wow, you guys have been around for ever
M: “Yeah, #2 consumer electronics retail store and we’re forced to close our doors because the economy failed us and now 34,000 employees are without jobs, all because people didn’t wanna go out and spend money to we could keep operating.”
H: “Wow, that’s terrible what’s your name?
M: “Ted”
H: “Well Ted, are you a Christian?”Now, like I said above, it’s not so much a bad customer, so much as an example of policies going out the window. There I am on the phone with a lady who, while polite and all, was about to do something I did not want to deal with on my last day. She was about to preach to me about how God does things for a reason, and God has a plan, blah, blah, I have no interest in listening to this, customer like this drive me nuts. Really, God made Circuit City fail so that 34,000 other people could lose their jobs, among other companies doing lay offs and such. While I am Christian, I was not in the mood for this. I hung up on her. Wow, that was rude of me, probably one of the worst things I’ve done in retail, especially to a customer who was trying to be polite and caring and what not, I just had no interest in hearing it. So I stand at the register for a couple moments and the phone rings again, so I decide to try something slightly different, so in as thick a Russian accent as I can put on I answer the phone.
M: “Zank you for callink Zirkuit Zity, how kan I help you?”
H: “Hi, I was just talking to Ted a moment ago”
M: “Zorry ma’am but Ted valked avay, how kan I help you?
H: “I wanted to know if Toshibas were on sale?”
M: “Yez ma’am, Toshibas are all 10% off, as are all laptops”
H: “Ok, well I know it’s you Ted and I just wanted to mention that you’re an asshole”Uh oh, the gig is up
M: “Alright, thanks ma’am buh bye!”
And hang up again. For a christian about to preach to me she sure didn’t mind calling me an asshole, while probably not the story you were expecting I want you to play that out in your head and tell me that’s not hilarious. The way she said it “I know it’s you Ted”, man it was awesome. Prime example of the rule book being tossed. I actually used the name Ted too, every person I talk to finds the story funny cause she was like “I know it’s you Ted”.
Nice zinger at the end, and how very Christian of them.
More stories from Circuit City employees at Gizmodo.
February 5th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
While annoying, one of the basic tenants of most religions is to proselytize. Per there tenants, the faithful should be proselytizing all the time. But they should be respectful of others believes as well.
I’m sure the reason the religous groups would give was spreading the word of God. But I think it’s a more basic reason. You can’t keep the organization going if you don’t get new members (as folks die off). This is one of the main reasons the Shakers, quite literally, died off (they didn’t believe in sex, so they recruited by adopting – but the children got the option to leave when they turned 18).
We had the something in the fraternity (where people graduate out of the group). Always be closing is another way to put that.
February 5th, 2009 at 8:19 pm
The only problem I have with Ted’s parable is that he assumes that the lady on the phone was about to preach. Here’s the problem – he hung up on her – he wouldn’t even listen to what she was going to say next so how can he jump to the conclusion that she broke some golden rule when he doesn’t even know what she was going to say next? That’s the way it is in America today I suppose: jump to conclusions, only read the headlines, judge books by their covers, close your ears when really you should listen, assume, assume, assume… It’s actually pretty sad.
February 5th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
First, not sure how this equates as a parable… there is no moral or religious lesson. And yeah, he hung up cause he assumed she was going to preach…. and I get the sense that the store had already gotten multiple calls of that nature. And frankly, “Are you a Christian?”, “Have you accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as your savior?” and the like are usually the opening salvo in a full court press to accept Christ as your savior.
Hanging up the phone? Rude.
Calling him an asshole? Unchristian.