After a few years of actively blogging I realized I didn’t have the mettle to go up against the likes of Joe.My.God and Towleroad and others, who were already doing a fabulous job, and I might add are tremendous assets to the LGBT community. Simply parroting them was no way to distinguish ILO, and the three hour head start of many of the east coast blogs didn’t help either.

I used to joke that I was a small fish swimming in a small pond full of big fish. Occasionally I’d get a nibble. Once or twice enough traffic to take the site down (thanks Carrie Prejean). Sometimes I’d get lucky and more popular blogs would cross-post or even feature one of my original posts.

This little fish was never eaten. It simply grew tired of swimming.

Which brings us to yesterday. And the new post.

Lately I’d been feeling the itch to start blogging again. I looked back at the early years of ILO when posting was definitely more sporadic, but more personal. Less chore.. more fun. I need to go back to that. At least for a while.

So I started off, not surprisingly, with a review. I used to do quite a few of those. There will be more of that and more personal/essay type posts as well. There will be less breaking news, unless it’s really juicy, or really relevant. I’ve also got a couple of niche-oriented blogs in the hopper, and I’ll be posting more about those too.

I know some of you will abandon ILO. Two already have. And that’s fine. For those who stick around, I hope to make it worth your while. Until next time.

Though filled with both triumph and heartbreak, 2009 is a year I’ll personally be glad to forget. But I’ll still raise a toast tonight in it’s honor, celebrating all the tremendous progress our community has made, while mindful of the painful setbacks we’ve suffered. And as I look forward to 2010, it will be with a renewed sense of optimism, hopeful that we will continue to make progress, that fewer rights will be denied, and less lives lost.

In that spirit we wish everyone a safe and prosperous New Year, full of joy and hope and a better future for us all.

George Michael’s “December Song”

The Muppets “Ringing of the Bells”

Now it’s off to see Nine, Avatar or Up in the Air!

It will be light posting over the holiday weekend, so I’ll leave you in good “Muppet” hands. The internet sensation guaranteed to put a smile on your face.

Sure it sounds a little crazy, maybe a lot crazy. To reach that 50 thousand word goal by the end of the month means churning out nearly 2000 words a day, which sounds pretty scary the more I think about it. But I’m going to give it a go, in the hopes of recapturing the literary voice of my youth, as corny as that sounds.

I’ll still be covering the major events that happen over the course of the month however, starting with the votes in Maine and Washington state later this week, so I won’t be abandoning the site entirely.

So your patience and encouragement during this period is most welcome. Feel free to comment here from time to time, as I may even blog about my progress, or lack-there-of.

Also if you’d like to sponsor my efforts please visit my Night of Writing Dangerously page. Thanks!

No, that’s not where I’m going, unfortunately. But I can dream, can’t I? Actually the hubby and I are heading up to the water-logged northwest for a few days of rest and relaxation. I’m leaving Inside, Looking Out in the capable hands of my best pal Joe who’ll be filling in during my absence. So fellow travelers, please drop by and make him feel at home. Until next week…

This weekend is AIDS Walk 2009 in San Francisco, and we will walk as we do every year. If you are able, please consider making a gift, no matter how small, to continue the fight against AIDS, and to help make up the difference for those who are unable to give. The AIDS Walk is our community’s single most powerful and enduring response to the AIDS epidemic, as the struggle against this disease is far from over. Every 9 1/2 minutes someone becomes infected with HIV. In the U.S., one in five people already infected don’t even know. And in San Francisco alone, 25,000 live with HIV every day.

If you are unable to give, please consider walking with us instead. The greater our visibility, the louder our message.

If you would like to sponsor Inside, Looking Out by making a donation, visit http://aidswalksanfran2009.kintera.org/inlookout. Thanks!

And for our international brethren…

It’s been a long and bumpy ride, but I am glad most of my original readers are still hanging around… and am thankful for the new ones too.

Today I went back and re-visited the very first post on ILO, and much of it surprisingly still applies… so I am posting it again today.

Well, this has been a long time in coming. I’ve wanted to set up an online journal, or “blog” for some time. I am sure you are all understandably curious. I thought this was a good way to let everyone know what’s going on with me, because as you know it’s always about me. Plus, it gives me a place to blow off some steam, sometimes serious, sometimes not so much. It also provides a forum for the lively exchange of ideas. Oh. Who am I kidding? Most of y’all will simply drop by for the free links, as I often stumble across cool things on the web… and this is a great place to post them. But what ever your reason for visiting, hopefully you’ll make it part of your routine. As I hope to make it part of mine.

Now, those of you visiting for the first time are doing so because your are on my notify list which sends you an email whenever I post to my “blog.” I promise not to fill up your email with idle and pedantic banter. But if you prefer not partake of my blog and all it has to offer, just let me know and I’ll remove you from the list to make room for someone else.

There are of course a few subtle differences (and some not so subtle) between then and now; today ILO is little less personal, and focuses a lot more on politics and gay issues. It also, I think, looks quite a bit nicer. But none of those changes would have been possible without the encouragement and the participation of those who frequently visit ILO, and to them my dearest thanks.

When I started ILO back in early 2004 I was in the midst of a long unemployment drought that lasted nearly a year. And now on the 5th anniversary of ILO, I look apprehensively toward the future as I am soon to be unemployed once more. During this break (which hopefully will be brief), I will of course be looking for new work, and hopefully, a new direction. I’ll also be spending a lot more time here.

So once again thanks… Thanks for making Inside, Looking Out, a part of your routine.

Abraham Lincoln, our 16th President was born 200 years ago today. He is perhaps the most remarkable of all of our leaders, presiding over a nation split by the wound of slavery. He was also a tremendous orator, his speeches succinct and written with a rhythm and cadence reminiscent of poetry.

Lincoln was also our first Republican president, helping found the party… but I don’t hold it against him. We need more Republicans in the vein of Lincoln… and Democrats too.

As a kid growing up in Chicago I knew very little about Lincoln, other than always getting the day off from school, which I thought was pretty cool. But lately my interest in Lincoln has grown, thanks in part to our new President, Barack Obama.

While the parallels between Lincoln and Obama have been well documented, the most striking for me is their gift for language, using it to inspire and show a way forward though the most difficult of times.

That is why I celebrate Abraham Lincoln’s birthday today.

Lincoln happens to be in very good company today. Another famous historical figure was also born on February 12th 1809: Charles Darwin, the man behind the theory of evolution.

I’ve taken a keen interest in Darwin of late thanks to my growing disillusionment with organized religion. Though I have long considered myself agnostic, witnessing the hypocrisy, greed, and out-right hate over the last several months has fueled my latent atheism and distrust of all things religious. Its steady and relentless assault on science, placing mankind’s fate in the hands of some invisible omnipotent being instead of repeatable and observable evidence, has put us all at risk. Delays in stemcell research. The growing movement to the teach creationism and Intelligent Design in schools. The delay in our acknowledgment of and response to global warming. These are just a few of the symptoms.

So for me Darwin is a symbol of reason in this sea of mysticism and superstition that threatens to drown all us all. His theory of evolution survives despite being under constant assault. Only 39% of Americans believe in evolution, which to me is both astonishing and scary. But they do believe in a talking snake.

That is why I celebrate Charles Darwin’s birthday today.

Our Zoe celebrates her birthday today too… Number four. So who is this Zoe? Well she’s our cat. Four of our years roughly translates to 32 in cat years. Wow. I had no idea she that old until just now. Wow.

A beautiful ragdoll with a diva complex, she has added so much balance and love to our lives. I remember her first day home, lying on the floor next to her until she felt safe enough to cuddle up next to me. And then we both fell asleep. Later I woke up with crook in my neck and Zoe on my belly, purring like a little steam train.

I don’t know if we will ever have children. But for now Zoe is enough. Any latent paternal instinct, and I mean LATENT, seems to be is satisfied. She has brought me and Chad closer together, as someone to care for often does.

That is why I celebrate Zoe’s birthday today.

And oh yeah, I almost forgot… it’s my birthday too… I’m 42. Ack!

Frankly the number 42 makes me a little nervous, as that’s how old my namesake (Elvis Presley) was when he kicked the bucket and shuffled off his mortal coil. I guess as long as I don’t keel over in the john, I should be fine

So now I am going to celebrate my birthday by taking a few days off… there maybe be a post or two, but it’s not likely. I wish all of you a safe and relaxing President’s day weekend.